HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
