....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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