Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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