You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
