Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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