You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
