everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
