I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
