She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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