I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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