Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize