I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
