i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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