Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We need to get me chipped asap
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
