his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
