Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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