Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
