only if we run a train.
done.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You are a genius and a whore.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize