come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love having hate sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
