He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
