well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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