i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
