hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
