i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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