love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
