you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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