i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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