if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
