i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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