I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
