My room smells like vodka and shame
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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