I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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