be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dignity is for republicans.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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