i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
