I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this boner is exhausting
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
