every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
