she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your tits are I can't wait for
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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