I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
