i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
