Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We smell like vodka and hangover
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
