I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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