Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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