Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
