More tranny stories later!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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