Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
