I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
