I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
