NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Too much gin, very little bucket
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i came on her dog
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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