im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
