Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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