I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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