If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
