The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
