I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i now understand why vodka
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
