He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
