I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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